As a young adult I thought I knew what love was. I was engaged at the age of 21 to my high school sweetheart. Now I'm nearly double that age and I like to think I have double the knowledge. I know that in my own way I did love that guy that I was engaged to but it wasn't the true enduring love. It was teenager love... the fluttery butterfly feelings that you get when things are all new and fun.
I got married about a year and a half ago and I think I knew that I had something special at the time. However I don't believe you really know until you experience the day to day challenges of living with another human who has their own bad habits and baggage.
I've never been one who believed in love at first sight. I think it's a myth really... that's not to say that those first intense feelings don't turn into something for many people but I don't believe it's love at that point either. I also don't believe love is roses and expensive dinner on Valentine's Day either. I have strong feelings against that day but that is not really what I want to talk about here.
Too many women get caught up in the romance of relationships and think that if they have that, they have love. This too is a myth. I dated the most romantic guy on the planet once but never experienced love with that man. When I look back now on that relationship, I realize he didn't even treat me all that great. He masked his inability to be a good companion with poems and love songs sung to me. It wasn't love at all.
This morning I realized that I really have that truly loving relationship that all women want. I think that many do have it and don't recognize it though. The man that I woke up next to is not romantic at all. In the 2.5 years that we have been together, I have received flowers once and that was just a few weeks ago.
What made me realize that he really loves me is that he was there everyday putting up with all the weird things that make me who I am. For instance, he knows that there are rules for when he comes to bed. If I am already in bed and asleep, he knows that no lights are to be turned on and he must get in bed quietly and not disturb me. He knows that sleep is a fragile thing for me and respects the "rules" no matter how weird and demented he thinks they may be. It is actions such as these that spell out a relationship that is solid and that will stand the test of time.
So women out there, listen up. Stop getting hung up on the flowers, diamonds and whatever it is that you think makes your life special and romantic. Look deeper! Look at the little things that your spouse or boyfriend does that shows true respect and love. If you do this, you just might realize how good things really are for you. And if you are one of those women who is only getting showered with flowers and gifts but the man in your life does things that are disrespectful of your wishes and happiness, it might be time to look elsewhere.
4 comments:
AMEN!!!
True love is your man bringing you a taco salad as a Valentine's Day present because he knows you can't stand flowers and you don't really wear jewelry.
My hubby knows if he wasted $50 for flowers for me on Valentine's Day, he would be in BIG TROUBLE.
Romance runs so much deeper than that. It is funny the ideals we had conjured up of the man we would someday marry. Two of my most cherished features of my hubby are his wisdom and intuition. Could you imagine wishes for those as a 16-year-old? :-)
What a great post!! My husband is actually really "romantic" in the writes me poems buys me flowers sense of the word, but that's not that stuff I love. I love when he kisses me on my forehead and listen to me talk about Greg Brady being on The Wiggles that day. :)
I am so glad that there are people who understand this concept! Now if I could only get my friend to get it too.
She is looking for butterflies. I keep telling her that butterflies are short lived. What remains after that might not be as exciting as it was when you first start daing but there is such a happy place that comes with the stability of true love and a solid relationship.
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